I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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