I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
