The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Come share oat with me in your robe
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
