He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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