How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
