Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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