I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
