I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
