Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
