I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
