Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
