did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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