I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
