I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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