I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
