he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
