I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
