Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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