What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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