We need to rekindle our bromance
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
