He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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