Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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