That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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