Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
