Yo dont text me then not text me
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
