My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
