I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
