chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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