Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
