He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
