I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
