Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I need to sanitize my soul.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
