she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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