you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
