I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
