hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
