You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
