No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
