Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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