You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We are all done wearing pants today
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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