I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
