Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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