I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Welp...herpes.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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