So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
where are my eyebrows?
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