Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
