Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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