how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My feet surprised me
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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