I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Never underestimate the power of titties
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
