Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize