I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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