so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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