the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize