people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
