dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
