Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
