i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
